Some people wouldn’t even leave their house for fear of judgment. So many people would be shocked of the truth that their friends were hiding. Many would be surprised that the people they thought they knew were totally different. Sad to say, it has become quite easy for people to act one way but feel another. And this truth makes it more and more difficult to discern who’s for real and who’s not.
My Dad told me something that I will carry with me forever. He said,
“Never allow others to confuse your actions from your heart.”
At first I didn’t quite understand what he meant by this, but the older I became, the more it resonated with me. Overtime I began to clearly understand what he meant.
Growing up, I struggled with wanting to control others perception of me. It kept me from being 100% genuine. I ended up saying and doing things to try to win over the approval and acceptance of others and would often find myself misunderstood. At the time I didn’t understand why. It was because I wasn’t being true to myself. I was allowing myself to be controlled by what I wanted people to see in me instead of just being me! I didn’t fully accept my introverted, creative self because in comparison to my surroundings, I was a rarity. There wasn’t many like me. I struggled with not understanding that so I tried to be like everybody else, losing myself in the process. Sounds like a recipe for being miserable huh?
This is why I thank God for deliverance and growth. To be honest, it took me until my adult years to get to a place of full acceptance and contentment with the way God created me. I thank God that He delivered me from seeking approval from people. Through a combination of diligence and my experiences, God showed me exactly who I was. He showed me the reasons he made me the way that I am and clearly showed me how refreshing individuality can be. It still hurts at times when people judge me based on outward appearance and what they think they know of me when it’s not the truth. But it doesn't hurt as much anymore because I’m secure. I’m secure in knowing my worth and my value, I know how perfect God sees me and who he created me to be, and THAT is who I am.
Because of God’s gentle rearing and developing, I have been able remain consistent with the parallelism of my actions and my heart. I am constantly reminded that God sees what’s in my heart first before anything else. I constantly pray over my heart that I will forever be true to myself and that my motives and intentions will forever remain pure. Like my Daddy said, I never want my actions and my heart to confuse the people around me. That could easily ruin my witness.
Take time and ask God to show you if there is anything hiding in your heart that needs to be removed. He will show you. Continually make efforts to line up your actions with what’s truly in your heart and you will find that because of your sincerity and the light you emit, the same kind of people will be drawn to you.
1 Samuel 16:7