Walking by Faith

I moved to Charlotte without a job.

Talk about a leap of faith. To some of you this may sound crazy, I know.

It’s been exactly two months since I packed up all of my things and moved miles away from my hometown, Chicago.

Have you ever had this deep, gut feeling that you’re supposed to be somewhere else? It’s truly hard to explain. I wrestled with the idea of relocation for almost 3 years.

I would mention it in casual conversation, laugh it off and say… ”one day”.

I would google my future city to death, hoping to see if it was a good move for me, and then would say to myself… “If only everything would line up right, I could do this.”

I would even mention it to God in my prayers and say that this is what I wanted to do, but I never quite asked Him to fully open the door.

It wasn’t until one day a thick cloud of optimism and faith loomed over me and I did the unthinkable, I went for it...without a job or safety net of any kind in place.

And at that moment, I had this surge of confidence and belief that God would provide for me whether I had a job lined up or not.

Looking back, I realize that I acted on pure faith and trust in God. After I decided that this is what I was going to do, I prayed tirelessly asking God to shut my idea down and close all doors if I was going against His plan for me. The one thing that I didn’t want to do was make a major move outside of His will.

And guess what God did? He kept opening doors for me, creating ways to make the transition seamless.

And after 5 years of living with my sister, I am sitting on my couch writing from my own apartment, in a city I prayed to live in. Amazing how God works.

I’m sure you’re wondering, “well did you get a job?”

Not yet.

You have no idea how frightened I am some nights, and how much I’ve cried out to God about my needs now that I’ve moved. I’m like, “Okay Lord, I’m here now...You see these bills right?”

Sometimes I laugh at myself because I know good and well that God sees everything. He knows my every need even before I ask Him, and yet I still worry about them being met.

Faith walking is not always linear. The way God works in our lives often makes no sense to us. I often fuss at God because He’s not moving on my timeline. I get frustrated and sad because things aren’t happening the way I want them to.

But if things always happened as we expect, how can God get any glory out of that? Where would our sense of dependence and faith come from? God gets the most glory out of the most unusual circumstances. (ie - remember Noah building that ark for 80 years and no one had ever seen rain? They had to think he was insane, lol)

And this is why I am telling you my story now before it’s done, to show you that this faith walk is hard. That right in the middle of one of the scariest circumstances in my life, I am still professing my trust in God no matter what happens.

I’m also sharing this to show you that true surrender to God’s way often involves leaving the outcome of your biggest problem completely up to Him. Even if it feels like you’re falling and there is no view of the ground in sight. (which it feels like about 80% of the time, lol)

I’m scared. I admit that. But I’d rather be scared in the palm of God’s hands than scared and on my own.