(Im) Perfectly Perfect

We are not born into this world wanting to be anything other than ourselves. 

As infants, we enter the world pretty much amazed at how cool we are. We gaze at our hands and feet…we wiggle our little toes and fingers in amazement at this body we are now aware of. 

As toddlers, we stop and stare the moment we find a mirror. We shake our little bottoms and shriek with innocent adoration of ourselves.

Where then in our journeys do we lose this awe?

For me, it started with not wanting to be different. 

I remember at one point in my life, wanting to be everything I was not. Everything that made me different, I began to despise. From my big eyes to my gapped teeth, my coarse hair and dark skin…I noticed the qualities that my peers received praise for and I wanted those qualities too. 

I don’t know why the idea of being different is so painful for kids, but growing up, I remember noticing how different I was from the others around me and not wanting to be.

On top of that, I was extremely introverted and timid and I didn’t want to be that either, lol. I was quiet by nature but everyone around me was loud, so not only did I try to adapt but I tried to change myself to be loud and lively like everyone else was… I mean, if everyone around me was this way, something HAD to be wrong with me, right?

That’s the thought I struggled with daily. Imagine being frustrated with your own personality. Running from something that you can’t escape. The very thing that came natural to me, I was rejecting. 

This indeed was a tough phase for me. I struggled with being “less than perfect”, not realizing that perfection in human form didn’t exist. 

I later started talking to God about my internal struggles and expressing my desire to see myself in His eyes. As I began to seek Him, He showed me. 

You know what’s even more beautiful than discovering your fingers and toes as a child? Rediscovering them as an adult. Now at 31 years old, I literally take moments to look at my fingers and toes and am amazed at how far they’ve carried me. I honor my body for housing the soul that God carefully created when He thought of me. 

Funny that now, the very characteristics that make me different I value the most. If only I would’ve noticed its beauty sooner. 

Perfection is an idea that we create ourselves. It’s an idol we formulate based off of our own insecurities. And because each of our insecurities are different, perfection looks and feels different to each person. 

Seeking perfection is like running a race without a finish line. It’s exhausting chasing something that doesn’t exist.

Instead, I’ve learned to spend more time unraveling and learning the things about myself that do exist and has existed since the day I was born. And every day I discover something new, the awe I once had as a newborn returns back to me. 

This post was featured on www.perfectisamyth.com, created by Iman Milner.