You know, sometimes life happens.
Changes occur and throws me totally off center. I at times get so wrapped up in my current circumstance that I allow everything else to fall by the wayside. I know I'm being vague lol, but in the last few months I have really been feeling like I've lost my momentum. I've become very busy with life that those things that are most important to me have taken a backseat while I rip and run frivolously being busy with that that doesn't fulfill me. And honestly, even this blog has suffered because of it.
I recently read a scripture that has been on my mind for the last few days...weeks actually. It says,
"We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing." -
Wow. What a wake up call. I found myself being so busy with work and home responsibilities and everything else that I began to complain. Complaining about being busy, complaining about being tired all the time, and even complaining about the very things that I asked God for. How did I allow myself to become a big ball of complaints? What changed?
When I finally took a moment to reflect on the change in my attitude and behavior I realized what was happening. The more that was added to my plate, the fuller my plate became and I, without even realizing it, started kicking some things out. I began to neglect what's most important.
That being...my quiet time with God. I allowed myself to get so busy that I neglected spending time with Him.
Now even though that was not my intent. I realized that this is why my attitude was changing. My life was becoming so full of
that instead of going to the Lord to ask for help managing everything, I was becoming " a mere moving shadow...busy rushing" not knowing that I was becoming more and more depleted. I pushed what was most important right off of my plate because I just "didn't have the time."
I was still going to church, still going to bible study, writing for The Prayer Project and trying my best to continue to encourage others but everything was beginning to feel like a chore. I just couldn't understand why I was feeling this way.
I'm realizing more and more that the time I spend with God is my
. Busying myself and not refilling my spirit with His Word or spending time with Him in prayer daily literally starves me spiritually. And because of it, I'm not equipped to handle life's changes. I can't handle the curve balls that are thrown my way, my emotions'll be all out of whack...and I basically become a walking target, open for satan to attack me at any time.
The older and more spiritually wise I become, the easier it is for me to notice when this happens. When I sense myself feeling out of sorts, the quicker I run to God's Word for peace. And that is exactly the space I am in right now. I just need Him. That's it. My life makes no sense without Him in it and I am realizing that more each day.
The blessing is that God doesn't move. Whenever I am ready to spend time with Him, He's there. With the biggest heart, warm and ready to comfort me. And for this, I love Him.